Monday, 3 June 2013

Chic Schooling (Living up to the 'ideal')

Two of my girlfriends felt the need to give me a chic lesson. They say I have the potential to be more of a chic but I am not seizing the opportunity. Their case against me is as follows:
  1.  I do not wear makeup enough
  2. I wear flats too often to work even though i have heels and fancier shoes
  3. I do not fix my nails or wear nail polish
  4. I don’t wear nicer clothes to work as much as I have them
  5. My jewelry is not nice/solid enough
  6. My bag is not expensive enough, I don’t change it often enough and the ones I have are not nice enough
  7. I spend too much money on my skin
  8. I don’t ‘invest’ it weaves
  9. I wear only one wristwatch
  10. I do not fix my hair enough
  11. I tie scarves too often
I believe this "intervention" probably unknown to the culprits is a form of peer pressure, a certain look has become an ideal and because one of them felt I had the potential to live up to that ideal and the other does her best to be that ideal, they tried to pressure me into seeing the ideal from their point of view and become subject to it. Well my answer is No!
I am my own person and I have been for several years of my life, I have had to mature quickly due to some responsibilities assigned to me early on in life. I have never been one to follow trends or what is in vogue, I have my own style and way of doing things and happen to be quite content and able to make use of what is available to me. I can be a tomboy, hot chic, casual chic, just casual, rugged. It depends on my state of mind and at the end of the day I think it’s up to me to choose how I want to express myself. Of course suggestions can be made about outfits, style and the likes by friends, but when they feel the need to state it as the above, I see no point in regarding it.
My response to the ‘accusations’ leveled to me are as follows:
moi without makeup and wearing a scarf
my famous black flats and one of my bags
  1.  I do not need to wear makeup if I do not want too. I think skin care is the most important, if your skin is well taken care of u’ll need less make up and I can choose to make up when necessary to look older/more mature or just glam and choose not to makeup when i don't feel like without people getting used to my made up face and assuming that’s my real face(we fit change face now with makeup techniques n products). I hate being asked if I’m ill just ‘cos I choose to go without makeup. Luckily no 1 has asked me that in years ‘cos I’m not always made up and my skin can breathe. A smile is all u need to be fully madeup. 
  2. I love shoes! Anyone who really knows me knows that. That said I’m more of a comfort person whenever I can afford to be. If there is an important meeting or I’m in the mood to be extra chic, I totally rock my heels, otherwise my black flats work just fine for me and are corporate enough, sorry if they are now a bore to your eyes or don’t live up to your high heels but I do not feel the need to always add a few more inches to my height, I choose comfort over fashion as regards work. If it’s an outing and suited to any of my fancy shoes u can be sure I’ll rock them.   
    my heels rack with a couple of shoes missing though
  3. my lovely white nails
    I have beautiful nails, I am aware and people tell me all the time, they are white, healthy and I grow them a bit long and keep them trimmed. I see no reason to fix. I actually like wearing nail polish, but detest when it gets chipped or cracked and i have to take it off, so I don’t bother at all, except I have a wedding or I just feel like it. I don’t see why I should make it a regular thing though. 
  4. nappy hair, very mild makeup and one of nonchalant office wears
    Again, my dressing depends on me and from whose perspective it is I’m not wearing nice enough clothes (my friends can say this ‘cos they have had access to the other kinda clothes I have in my wardrobe). I admit I can be a bit nonchalant about my dressing at times and my excuse for that usually is me being too lazy to iron (I really hate ironing!!) but it’s hardly ever unofficial, just not so ‘chic’ at most. But then again I know how to dazzle (dress to impress) when there is the need ‘a meeting’ or ‘event’ or even just 'cos i'm in the mood to be fly, so I think I'll survive. I dress the way i wanna be addressed.
  5.  I’m not really a jewelry person, I’m more routinely when it comes to that, I pick a set that works with most of my outfits and stick to it except I’m out to be fiery or jazz up an outfit with my jewelry. I do not subscribe to the theory that your jewelry has to be always be big or heavy or loud or blingy or whatever else they say it has to be to look nice on you. If I like it and it goes with my outfit I will wear it.
  6.  I’m not a fan of bags, never have been. Left to me I’d carry a purse/wallet and be on my merry way. A bag is more of a necessity to me than an accessory. The different colors I have is just because of how much I love colors, left to me I’d rock a big black bag that can contain all my stuff all year round. One of my 'intervention' friends is a big fan of bags ‘correct bags’ i.e the Michael Kors, Prada and co. and will spend all her money on one whenever possible. My priorities are different, I have about 5 different colored bags that are functional and i doubt I’ll be adding to the collection anytime soon except I get one as a gift or I find one so irresistible that I have to have it. I interchange the bags from time to time and they function just fine for me. I doubt I will be getting any ‘correct’ bags as I cannot justify to myself spending so much on a particular item. 
    straightened natural hair,made up,heels,gown-close to 'the ideal'
  7. short weave,painted nails
  8.  I can justify spending money on my skin! Totally!! This is the one thing that I’m guaranteed will stay with me through my years on earth so why won’t I spoil it. I try to eat healthy, go for hammams, massages, spa treats and the likes ‘cos when I look good (my skin), I feel good. Its not only a physical thing but also mental. I can do self treats at home but I don’t consider my spa visits a waste either, as I can totally relax and be spoilt by someone else instead of doing the work myself. Oh and my fiancé also loves my skin as well!lol 
    very mild makeup and my natural hair stretched out
  9. Weaves! Lol!! Brazillian, Peruvian, Indian, Bohemian, Nigerian?? lol etc. *rme with their super high price tags, again I do not see the point. I hardly do anything in life that I do not see a reason for or that I cannot justify to myself. I own none of the above named or the others that fall into their category and it’s not because I’m #TeamNatural! (not just with my hair but living as a whole), I have grown out my natural hair for about 4years now and I am still loving it. That aside though, there are times I braid and wear weaves, I go for the normal priced weaves whenever I want to do weaves, i look at the quality, if it suits the hairstyle I want to make, my stylist’s opinion and the price tag. Once all that is put into consideration, I’m good to go. I am very versatile with my hairstyles from super short styles to long styles, curly styles, etc. and once I’m done with the weaves I thrash them if I see they are no longer nice to serve any future purpose. Most of my friend’s that ‘invest’ in these weaves say they buy it ‘cos you can wash it, use heat on it, curl it up, It doesn't shed, looks chic, lasts longer, etc. but what I have noticed is them having just one is never enough!! They always want more even if they are doing the same hairstyle with it. If you can afford such extravagance then by all means buy away, otherwise i consider it a waste. I have a friend that spent about N150,000 to buy such a weave and ended up broke and still gave out the weave eventually!! O.o nitoripe why?! I told my friends even If I was a millionaire, I would still rather use the money to go on a trip rocking some long loose braids in Ghana, The Gambia or somewhere else I can have a nice time and make some good memories! They could not believe I was saying that *shrug* that’s how I see it though. 
    my famous black watch and painted natural nails
  10. I did not even see the need for this point. I just dey laff as dem talk this one. No be time dem dey use watch for? Well I know people use their wristwatches as a status symbol thanks to the price tag such as the ‘Rolex’, ‘Hublot’ and co. I have a couple of wristwatches but I can’t be bothered to match them to my outfit all the time or get the overly expensive ones. I wear my slim black one unless I’m in the mood for a change (which is rare) or the battery stops. Its function to me is to tell time and occupy my wrist. Shikena.
  11.  I do not fix my hair enough. *giggles. That’s part of why I have healthy natural hair, I allow my own hair and scalp to breathe and its beautiful enough for me to rock without weaves. I can braid, rock my hair or do weaves. My choice and they all look good on me. 
    me made up wearing a scarf and 'jewelry'
  12. This one is not even a point. I tie scarves because I love scarves and also when I’m having a bad hair day. I have always loved the look on northerners and muslims, it just has this elegance to it. I don’t see why I can’t rock scarves just ‘cos I’m not a northerner or muslim. I shall drape my scarf, turban it or wear it however I please because I like them and the look they give. Oh and my fiancé likes it too :D *bonus
Geeky look, very mild makeup, glasses and nappy hair
Nappy hair,colorful outfit,one of my bags, made up-weekend outing
Having responded to all the accusations leveled against me, I hope I have been able to convince and not to confuse you with my point. Lol!! (ignore me). This 'intervention' was held at that broke period in the month when salaries have been exhausted and it was lunch time. I'm hungry and broke i heard one of my 'intervention' friends lament, i asked her what she wanted and sent someone to get us something to eat. I left their office with a smile on my face, i believe i had established my point.
dolled up with makeup,not brazillian weave, jewelry and hot outfit all done by me :D - 'the ideal'
bohemian curls,painted nails,made up and jeweled up-wedding tinz
Friday outfit-made up, wearing abaya and wearing a scarf
made up and scarf draped
At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to contentment and self-esteem. If you can afford all the above and want to use them then by all means,enjoy; but do not let material things define  you. As for me I have learnt to live with a little as well as a lot and I am happy and contented with the little and many I have. If you have followed my blog well, you’ll know I have lil/no issues with self-esteem. I learnt to love myself from an early age and that I don’t need accessories to increase/determine my worth. I want whoever meets me to like me for me and not a screensaver version of myself; when i shed all the material things, is there any substance left to my actual person? I have been blessed with someone that knows me and takes me as I am. As for the above it’s all about perspective. Eventually everything in life is vanity. Good to choose ur team well. I have chosen my team. Healthy living, running my own life race, touring the world, enjoying the simple things of life and doing what makes me happy. If you do any of the above, i'm not trying to crucify,keep it up but do it for you and not to please anyone or live up to expectations otherwise these things will consume you. Do what makes you happy (but not to ur detriment or that of others if possible) and allow others do the same. Enjoy my pics for you to draw ur own conclusion. I found these posts on BellaNaija and Diary by Emmy that kinda relates to what i'm saying, you should read the comments on the posts also
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  1. Lol...Jez discovered ur blog and bin reading all...I love the natural u jere..Besides,u never mentioned the cream or anything u apply to ur skin aside frm spa treatments.Dnt mind me,in love with d skin...

    1. Tnk u kindly @Esther 😊 na Shea Butter a.k.a Ori i dey use o n sometimes Olive/Coconut/Moringa oil if its unavailable.

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  3. i have starting using black soap as my bathing soap and shampoo for my transitioner hair since july and i do have ori but it does not show forth on my skin'. i used most traditional products due to her benefits on skin and face.a great blog dear

  4. @Ajayi Grace thank you kindly. You can try natural oils (sesame oil, coconut oil, sweet almond oil, olive oil, etc.). Traditional products are definitely beneficial to the skin especially as they don't contain harsh chemicals.


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