You all know how much i love weddings, well at least from the number of posts i'v put up here related to weddings, you have a good idea! It is quite apparent and if you did not know before i have said it now o. I started out this year with only 3 weddings in view and now i have one to attend for every month from now till November, i know December go soon join in!!I have already attended one in January (was a bridesmaid), one in February, one in March, one in April (was a bridesmaid) and one in June, so i have only been free of attending a wedding in May!I am certain in another life that i am a wedding planner, i should count my bridesmaid dresses also, e go don pass 27 o!lol. Forgive me though as i digress, this post is about a batch wedding i attended in Kaduna last weekend.
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| The 3 couples |
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| me humble self |
3 couples got married in the church at the same
time, it was a new experience for me although my friends said a couple of big
churches or parishes do it so more of their members can get married in the
church. The 3 different couples had their individual sets of Bridesmaids and
groomsmen, the groomsmen were just for decoration and pictures though and maybe
to dance in with the couple at the reception venue. These were the colors 1st
couple-Peach and Turquoise (the couple I was attending for, their bridal train
had the nicest oufit) 2nd couple-red and gold 3rd
couple-Olive green and all the bridesmaids sat together opposite the couples on
the stage. The grooms stood on the stage with one empty seat beside them, the
pastor said a prayer and the service began promptly at 10am, the choir began
singing, the brides danced in with their fathers on their arm and their train behind
them one after the other (the dance was very brief as it was not just 1couple
to be joined) before they joined their individual grooms on the altar. There
was a brief admonition to the crowd and it was time to join the couples, they
were joined one after the other, the fathers came on stage separately when it
was the turn of their daughters to confirm they were the ones giving them away,
vows were read, rings exchanged, photographs taken and everyone took their
seats. After this, there was a super long sermon (I was asleep so I have no
idea what was preached), I woke up just in time for the couples to sign the
marriage register one after the other and show off their marriage certificates
to the crowd, as this was ongoing, offering baskets were being passed around. I
left the church after dropping my offering and went into the car to receive
some AC and charge my phone. The service finished about 15mins later and we
went down to the reception venue.
It was a nice venue, or so i thought at first glance (green grass, creeping
green grass on some of the walls and a water fountain although without water)
although they had made no provision for parking so people had to park on the
roadside. I entered the area reserved for us and that was when I saw it!!! The
décor was tacky and dirty, the t! absolutely no effort had been put into it, it
was an eyesore, if not for the couple and my fiancé I was with, I would have
left for home after I saw an insect crawling up one of the chairs (not just any
insect o, but the famous black&orange skirt and blouse insect that scars u
with its toxins if it climbs your skin, especially if you mistakenly try to
kill it). The chair and table covers where white and visibly dirty, the satin
decoration looked like it had been pulled out of a cup, there was a vase on a
couple of tables filled with water and multicolored gels that made me just want
to puke! The stage arrangement was rubbish, the high table was placed behind
the couple so the parents of the couple who happened to be seated there were
watching the chair the couple sat on throughout the event! I stayed however and
as I looked around it dawned on me that the venue probably came with
decoration, most of these places came with a package deal when you want to rent
them, which was the explanation for why they could not be bothered to make the
place look nice, or at the very least CLEAN!
The MC did not help matters
either making drab jokes (“no dancing of dt asotob (azonto) dance that makes you look
crippled here or our security agents will arrest you” and how a section with a ribbon around it to show it was reserved for guests made them look like cultists and that they were in bondage!! *rme) and absolutely un-entertaining
(he was from the church). He made the best man read out the order of
photographs so the poor guy only managed to appear in one pic. The music was boring, the church
said no secular naija jamz, strictly Christian music, then why not make a selection
that the guests can dance to. The only ones played that were a bit nice and
that I recognized were Olo mi-tosin martins, Oruka-Sunny nneji,
Igwe-Midnight crew and Wifey-Eldee.
They banned spraying of the
couples!! One red cap chief that came around ended up spraying the guests who
swiftly put the money in their bags. Nigerians are not fans of dropping money
in trays, they need that band/dj to make their head swell with music that they
just throw money in the air. Couples make a lot of money from this at weddings.
It can be naira, dollar, pounds, just name the currency, as long as the music
dey enter brain, they will stand up and spray. Enveloped money and dropping
money in trays just don’t work.
It was over in an hour and a bit
and some woman came to talk about women empowerment for widows, singles etc
(really!! Talking about widowhood @ a wedding!!*smh)
I don’t subscribe to the batch
wedding though, I mean this day is going to happen only once in my life, so I
don’t see why I should share any moment of it with anyone, I want a slow and
steady walk down the aisle, not a rushed one. This is one day I want it to be
all about me and my man. If you are using a green area for your reception, I
advice you get someone to spray the grass with a pesticide before the event so your
guests are not itching under the table.
As for the superlong preaching,
that thing dey tire me and most guest I believe, would it kill to keep it brief
and straight to the point?!don’t bring your own family issues into it, in the
name of advice to the newly weds biko!we don do marriage counselling already,
we don’t need another long session during the wedding ceremony. Left to me I
will jst get a minister to do the ceremony and join us at the same venue as the
reception. Brief and straight to the point, and people will move to the
reception area from there,enjoy themselves and not have to drive or be stressed locating the reception venue. After eating, dancing and being entertained, everyone one goes home happy with their quality souvenirs (not dunlop slippers o!). It all boils down to planning at the end of the day.
Toodles!XooX
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