Tuesday, 7 February 2017

Changing my Surname after Marriage

Hi! My name is what? My name is who? My name is [tchiktchiktchiki] Slim Shady. Oh na na what's my name?... ok i'm done๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚
I haven't officially changed my Surname/Last Name to my husband's, i don't know if/when i will and i don't think it's a big deal.
Major reasons I haven't changed my Surname:

  1. It's hella stressful getting my name changed officially, so much protocol mahn i can't even deal right now. You have to order extra originals of your Marriage Certificate, get a Court Affidavit, do a newspaper publication and stuff like that and to be honest i just can't be bothered. Paperwork is not my fave.
  2. I'll have to update ALL my means of identification to reflect my new name. If you live in Nigeria you already know that's hella stressful. I mean i may not even mind so much if my IDs were due to expire but they are ALL valid till 2019! I refuse to go to the stress of getting a new international passport just to reflect hubby's surname, nah bruh. Have you ever gone to the immigration office?! 5 years isn't long enough t be away from there i swear and i definitely don't have money to waste in this economy.
  3.  I'll have to update all my bank records and other official records once i change my name on my IDs. Once again i'm soo not ready for the stress & waste of my precious time. Nope. If you're Nigerian, you already know how it is.
  4. Keeping my current name is not affecting ANYTHING in my life. I'm functioning just great without the change. It doesn't change the fact that we are married.
  5. Hubby doesn't mind, this is crucial as this subject can quickly turn into a serious argument for some couples
  6. My current Surname (a.k.a maiden name) is a big part of my identity and quite unique (I mean i have had it for 20+ years and the short form of it is my nickname) so if/when i do officially take hubby's surname i might just keep it. I don't know what format that'll be yet but i'll decide when i'm ready for the change.
I think people tend to make a bigger deal than necessary out of a married woman dropping her father's name and taking on her husband's name after marriage, read here. It really isn't that serious and i'm not aware of any special benefits (except maybe for popular people/celebs) after the change.
Most ladies especially before marriage do look forward to taking on their husband-to-be's surname as is customary in most parts of Nigeria(except for Muslims i believe). If you wanna, click here to read more on the procedure.
Some couples take on a totally new surname together, in some parts of the world, the man takes on the woman's surname and in recent times women hyphenate both their surname & husband's name.
I personally think it's totally the couple's decision and hopefully you're with someone that values your opinion and you can meet in the middle on this. Its not a decision i think should be forced, your name is afterall a huge part of your identity and having had it for so long, it's only right that you have a say in parting with it or not. 
Do not let the issue of changing your name become an unnecessary stress in your marriage, discuss it with your partner and decide on the best approach that works the new lil family you're building together. There's really no rush and there are numerous married women living their happy lives with or without their husband's last name. 
It is a Choice.
Please Share it! :)

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