WEDDING GUEST EXPENSES. Nigerian Wedding Series II

There are different categories of Nigerian Wedding Guests and the expenses vary depending on what category you fall into and you can fall into more than one category. They are broadly listed as follows strictly for the couple:
1. Close Friends

On the Bridal Train. Transportation arranged by Couple

2. Family Friends (including Sibling's friends)

3. Friends

4. School Friends

Dressed in my own clothes according to the dress code (no stress)

  Dressed in my own clothes. No Dress Code (no stress)

5. Association/Membership Friends (Rotary, Innerwheel, Ikoyi Club, etc.)
6.Church Friends (or any other religion)
7. Social Media Friends
8. Work Friends (Colleagues)

Dressed in the Aso-Ebi

Dressed in my own clothes. No Dress Code. Henna was done for free (no stress)

9. Friends of Friends (including +1s)

Hubby's friend's wedding. Happily his +1

Hubby's friend's wedding. Happily his +1

10. Acquaintances
11. Mo Gbo Mo Ya (I heard, I came a.k.a Gatecrashers)

Depending on what guest categories you fall into and the couple's wedding plans, you will have to dole out cash for the following (and this list is quite generic with the MINIMUM cost estimate highlighted, some couple's events entail way more or less):

A. Bridal Shower/Bachelor's Eve Contribution
      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N5,000 & Above (Female)

Customized Bridal Shower Tees

Surprise Bridal Shower. Contributions from friends

B. Bridesmaid/Groomsman Outfit (Dress/Suit, Shoes, Jewelry, Accessories, Hair & Makeup-Some or All items listed)
 COST ESTIMATE = N20,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Bridal Train shenanigans

C.Traditional Wedding Aso-ebi (Sometimes its just a Cap or Gele instead of a full attire)

     COST ESTIMATE = N1000 & Above (Male); N2,000 & Above (Female)

Mat Sitting with the Bride in Aso-Ebi

Dancing out with the Bride during the Traditional Wedding

Kamu Aso-Ebi. Free Henna by bride & Free food

Complete Traditional Wedding Aso-Ebi

D.White Wedding (or Dinner)Aso-ebi 

    COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Complete White Wedding Aso-Ebi

E. Wedding Gift/Contribution (Cash or Items or Treat)

      COST ESTIMATE = N5,000 & Above (Male); N5,000 & Above (Female)

F. Making Souvenirs for the couple or wedding guests

      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Skincare Souvenir I got for a close friend's wedding

Skincare Souvenir I got for a close friend's wedding

Souvenir i got from a friend of the couple at a wedding

G.Sew Aso-Ebis

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (Male); N8,000 & Above (Female)

H. Hairdo/Haircut, Makeup & Gele Tying (can be just one or all three)

      COST ESTIMATE = N500 & Above (Male); N2,000 & Above (Female)

I. Return Trip for the Traditional Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N14,000 & Above  (By Road); N50,000 & Above (Local Flight)

J. Accomodation for the Traditional Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (per Night)

K. On-site Transportation & Feeding during your stay for the Traditional Wedding  (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (depending on location & length of stay)

L. Return Trip for the White Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N14,000 & Above  (By Road); N50,000 & Above (Local Flight)

M. Accomodation for White Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (per Night)

N. Transportation & Feeding during your stay for the Traditional Wedding  (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

     COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (depending on location & length of stay)

The Most (financially, mentally, physically & emotionally) draining categories of wedding guest to be (depending on the kind of person you are on the scale of over-caring to nonchalant) are definitely: (i) Close Friends or

(ii) Family Friends

COST ESTIMATE = N164,500 Minimum (Male); N142,000 Minimum (Female)

These are the people expected to drop dough for practically every single thing listed above, participate in the planning process and even during the events may have to oversee some activities. They are typically running helter-skelter before & on the day of the events to make sure things are in order, picking money being sprayed, making sure assigned guests get seats & are served, making sure the couple stay looking flawless, attending to the couple's needs (since they can't get off the stage to do stuff themselves), etc. They eventually don't really get to have fun till the major events are over, most of the crowd has dispersed and its mainly youngins left. Only then can they eventually rest outta their heels/shoes, eat, drink, take pics with the couple, boogie down on the dance floor, etc. and they may still have to coordinate some stuff afterwards.

but guess what?! It's worth it to them 'cos its a labour of love and that's what friends are for right?yup.

Surprise Bridal Shower Prep & Planning (Before)

Surprise Bridal Shower (After)

Bridesmaid making sure things are in order before the event starts

The Best and Least (financially, mentally, physically & emotionally) draining categories of wedding guest to be are definitely: (i) Friends of Friends (+1s)

(ii) Acquaintances or

(iii) Mo Gbo Mo Ya (I heard, I came a.k.a Gatecrashers)

COST ESTIMATE = N0 Minimum (Male); N0 Minimum (Female)

There is no expectation of these group of people from the couple or their family members. These are the people who can easily overlook if they are discriminated against 'cos they are not wearing the official wedding color code or aso-ebi or if they don't get food/drinks at the wedding or if a family member of the couple addresses them rudely, etc. because they have hardly invested any time, resources or effort into the couple or any of their ceremonies.
If things go pleasantly, great! If not, better luck next time and they take their leave. They usually have a good time especially if seated or acquainted with the right group of people.

Happily hubby's +1

We the guests that typically fall into the active categories truly appreciate when couples (and their parents/family members) don't take our efforts for granted and even go the extra mile to reduce the load on our shoulders- from getting us free/discounted accommodation, providing transportation & feeding for a limited time, throwing their own shower, getting affordable & still lovely aso-ebis/bridesmaid outfits, making arrangements for seating at the events, souvenirs, etc.

Free Hotel Accommodation arranged by the couple

Home Accommodation arranged by the couple

Clearly Designated Seating for Couple's Friends

Clearly Designated Seating for the Bridal Train

Food & Small Chops for guests

Guest's Food

Tasty Dessert Spread for Guests

Dessert

Tasty Dessert Spread for Guests

Fun Photo Booth with Props for Guests

Fun Guest Signing Tree

Ultimate Couple!! Provided a schedule & Catered to invited friend's accommodation, on-site transportation & feeding.

I have fallen into practically all the different categories highlighted above and i'm definitely writing from experience. I will be doing a wedding series titled 'Best Wedding Ceremony' (From 2014 till date) and it will focus solely on my experience participating in the different wedding events from my perspective as a Guest. I hope it'll provide some guest-friendly wedding planning tips (without breaking the bank) for future couples.

Therefore my dear couples-to-be, i hope this post enlightens you a bit to the major commitments (Financial, Physical, Mental, Emotional and otherwise) that some of your guests make to be a part of your beautiful union and events. It wouldn't hurt to be considerate of them during your planning process and appreciate the time, resources & effort taken to celebrate with you afterwards. They are not 'just guests'. Yes, you will still be married with or without them present but if you've gone through the hassle of renting a hall, decorating and all of that, you will definitely feel it badly if absolutely no one showed up to celebrate with you.
Check out & Enjoy my previous wedding related posts (From Planning Bridal Showers, Introduction Ceremonies, Wedding Essentials and more).

Toodles!XooX

For my love of Henna

Henna Design in progress @Millenium Park

Henna, Laali, Laale. Kunshi, Mehndi, soo many names. Whatever name it's called in your part of the world, this post is dedicated to my love for it.

Henna Design on my hands and feet

I believe its such a beautiful artistic expression and i love it more 'cos i can always switch it up every once in a while. I never knew about Henna Body Art till i ventured into the Abuja (North Nigeria) during my NYSC in 2008 and it was love at first sight for real. I had to get it done ASAP and there has been no looking back after that. I even tried to design it on myself using the Rani tube henna, sadly i am not not gifted at this art; Maybe with a lot of practice sha i can get better.

If you follow my blog i'm sure you are aware i am quite a fan of most things Northern Nigeria has to offer-language, food, meals, fashion sense, etc. So this probably isn't surprising.

To the best of my knowledge, in Nigeria, Henna Art used to be seen mostly on Northern Women/Young girls (regardless of religion) and Western Muslim Women/Young girls with the most elaborate designs done on Brides-to-be but it has now been adapted by many Nigerian ladies regardless of tribe,culture and religion. Some get it done just for their wedding ceremonies, festivals and other similar events & celebrations while others, like me, get it done to have it beautify our body. 

Here's a few things you should know before getting a Henna Design on your body:

• The Henna mix is essentially a dye and can be formed using solely the leaves from the Henna plant or with a mix of other plants,materials with similar dyeing properties
• Henna is also used for other things asides body art 
• Some people are allergic to ingredients used in making the henna paste (especially people with sensitive skin), so please do a lil patch test to know if your skin can handle it
• Some Henna Artists use harsh materials for their mixtures which may burn the skin
• Henna Artists typically customize their paste mix to their individual preference and desired color 
• It takes a while to fade off depending on the potency of the ingredients in the paste mix (3Days-2Weeks)
• The more you exfoliate/scrub your skin, the faster it will fade off
• It takes even longer to fade off your nails
• You can adorn any part of your body (hands, feet, back, tummy,etc.) with a henna design
• You can allow your Henna Artist freestyle or you can find a design online for them to replicate for you
• The Henna mix can stain your skin in variations of Black, Brown or Red 
• Your Henna design can be very simple or elaborate. Its totally your choice.
• Your Henna Artist can switch up a design by using different colors, adding glitter or stones. It all depends on your preference
• The skill of the Henna Artist varies per individual, some are really good and do a very neat job while others have shaky hands and it shows up in the art
• Wear something you don't mind getting the henna paste on when getting your henna design done 'cos it stains clothes and is difficult to wash off
• Choose a comfortable position to get you henna design done so you don't numb from lack of blood flow and so that it can dry without you staining yourself and things around you
• You need to let the Henna mix dry very thoroughly before peeling and washing it off for the color pigmentation to be bold

You can typically get henna done at a friend's wedding where its part of their custom or get the contact of a henna artist from them for a home service (its pricier though especially in Abuja). Some spas also offer it as a service, check out 'The Henna Place' (Lagos).
When i'm really 'craving' it and there's no wedding in sight i go to Millenium Park, Abuja to get it done. There's a lady there called "Mama Twins", she does a good job with the design but it doesn't stay on your skin for too long. Her price ranges from N500-N1500 depending on the design you want and how long you want it to last on your skin.
You can reach her on these no.s 08187379628/09032090260.

Some Instagram Accounts i like:

• Neha Assar
• Henna Temple
• Henna Lookbook
• Henna Yagmur
• Henna Tattoos

I had to rummage my Pictures Folder to find some of the henna designs i have gotten over the years. Enjoy!

Please Ignore my pretty toes🙈Focus on the beautiful design

2012

2012

2013

 2014

2014

2015

2015 (Zanzibar, Tanzania)

 2016 (Millenium Park)

 2016

Toodles!XooX