WEDDING GUEST EXPENSES. Nigerian Wedding Series II

There are different categories of Nigerian Wedding Guests and the expenses vary depending on what category you fall into and you can fall into more than one category. They are broadly listed as follows strictly for the couple:
1. Close Friends

On the Bridal Train. Transportation arranged by Couple

2. Family Friends (including Sibling's friends)

3. Friends

4. School Friends

Dressed in my own clothes according to the dress code (no stress)

  Dressed in my own clothes. No Dress Code (no stress)

5. Association/Membership Friends (Rotary, Innerwheel, Ikoyi Club, etc.)
6.Church Friends (or any other religion)
7. Social Media Friends
8. Work Friends (Colleagues)

Dressed in the Aso-Ebi

Dressed in my own clothes. No Dress Code. Henna was done for free (no stress)

9. Friends of Friends (including +1s)

Hubby's friend's wedding. Happily his +1

Hubby's friend's wedding. Happily his +1

10. Acquaintances
11. Mo Gbo Mo Ya (I heard, I came a.k.a Gatecrashers)

Depending on what guest categories you fall into and the couple's wedding plans, you will have to dole out cash for the following (and this list is quite generic with the MINIMUM cost estimate highlighted, some couple's events entail way more or less):

A. Bridal Shower/Bachelor's Eve Contribution
      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N5,000 & Above (Female)

Customized Bridal Shower Tees

Surprise Bridal Shower. Contributions from friends

B. Bridesmaid/Groomsman Outfit (Dress/Suit, Shoes, Jewelry, Accessories, Hair & Makeup-Some or All items listed)
 COST ESTIMATE = N20,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Bridal Train shenanigans

C.Traditional Wedding Aso-ebi (Sometimes its just a Cap or Gele instead of a full attire)

     COST ESTIMATE = N1000 & Above (Male); N2,000 & Above (Female)

Mat Sitting with the Bride in Aso-Ebi

Dancing out with the Bride during the Traditional Wedding

Kamu Aso-Ebi. Free Henna by bride & Free food

Complete Traditional Wedding Aso-Ebi

D.White Wedding (or Dinner)Aso-ebi 

    COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Complete White Wedding Aso-Ebi

E. Wedding Gift/Contribution (Cash or Items or Treat)

      COST ESTIMATE = N5,000 & Above (Male); N5,000 & Above (Female)

F. Making Souvenirs for the couple or wedding guests

      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (Male); N10,000 & Above (Female)

Skincare Souvenir I got for a close friend's wedding

Skincare Souvenir I got for a close friend's wedding

Souvenir i got from a friend of the couple at a wedding

G.Sew Aso-Ebis

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (Male); N8,000 & Above (Female)

H. Hairdo/Haircut, Makeup & Gele Tying (can be just one or all three)

      COST ESTIMATE = N500 & Above (Male); N2,000 & Above (Female)

I. Return Trip for the Traditional Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N14,000 & Above  (By Road); N50,000 & Above (Local Flight)

J. Accomodation for the Traditional Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (per Night)

K. On-site Transportation & Feeding during your stay for the Traditional Wedding  (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (depending on location & length of stay)

L. Return Trip for the White Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N14,000 & Above  (By Road); N50,000 & Above (Local Flight)

M. Accomodation for White Wedding (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

      COST ESTIMATE = N8,000 & Above (per Night)

N. Transportation & Feeding during your stay for the Traditional Wedding  (If outside your domain & no plans have been made by the couple to cater for this)

     COST ESTIMATE = N10,000 & Above (depending on location & length of stay)

The Most (financially, mentally, physically & emotionally) draining categories of wedding guest to be (depending on the kind of person you are on the scale of over-caring to nonchalant) are definitely: (i) Close Friends or

(ii) Family Friends

COST ESTIMATE = N164,500 Minimum (Male); N142,000 Minimum (Female)

These are the people expected to drop dough for practically every single thing listed above, participate in the planning process and even during the events may have to oversee some activities. They are typically running helter-skelter before & on the day of the events to make sure things are in order, picking money being sprayed, making sure assigned guests get seats & are served, making sure the couple stay looking flawless, attending to the couple's needs (since they can't get off the stage to do stuff themselves), etc. They eventually don't really get to have fun till the major events are over, most of the crowd has dispersed and its mainly youngins left. Only then can they eventually rest outta their heels/shoes, eat, drink, take pics with the couple, boogie down on the dance floor, etc. and they may still have to coordinate some stuff afterwards.

but guess what?! It's worth it to them 'cos its a labour of love and that's what friends are for right?yup.

Surprise Bridal Shower Prep & Planning (Before)

Surprise Bridal Shower (After)

Bridesmaid making sure things are in order before the event starts

The Best and Least (financially, mentally, physically & emotionally) draining categories of wedding guest to be are definitely: (i) Friends of Friends (+1s)

(ii) Acquaintances or

(iii) Mo Gbo Mo Ya (I heard, I came a.k.a Gatecrashers)

COST ESTIMATE = N0 Minimum (Male); N0 Minimum (Female)

There is no expectation of these group of people from the couple or their family members. These are the people who can easily overlook if they are discriminated against 'cos they are not wearing the official wedding color code or aso-ebi or if they don't get food/drinks at the wedding or if a family member of the couple addresses them rudely, etc. because they have hardly invested any time, resources or effort into the couple or any of their ceremonies.
If things go pleasantly, great! If not, better luck next time and they take their leave. They usually have a good time especially if seated or acquainted with the right group of people.

Happily hubby's +1

We the guests that typically fall into the active categories truly appreciate when couples (and their parents/family members) don't take our efforts for granted and even go the extra mile to reduce the load on our shoulders- from getting us free/discounted accommodation, providing transportation & feeding for a limited time, throwing their own shower, getting affordable & still lovely aso-ebis/bridesmaid outfits, making arrangements for seating at the events, souvenirs, etc.

Free Hotel Accommodation arranged by the couple

Home Accommodation arranged by the couple

Clearly Designated Seating for Couple's Friends

Clearly Designated Seating for the Bridal Train

Food & Small Chops for guests

Guest's Food

Tasty Dessert Spread for Guests

Dessert

Tasty Dessert Spread for Guests

Fun Photo Booth with Props for Guests

Fun Guest Signing Tree

Ultimate Couple!! Provided a schedule & Catered to invited friend's accommodation, on-site transportation & feeding.

I have fallen into practically all the different categories highlighted above and i'm definitely writing from experience. I will be doing a wedding series titled 'Best Wedding Ceremony' (From 2014 till date) and it will focus solely on my experience participating in the different wedding events from my perspective as a Guest. I hope it'll provide some guest-friendly wedding planning tips (without breaking the bank) for future couples.

Therefore my dear couples-to-be, i hope this post enlightens you a bit to the major commitments (Financial, Physical, Mental, Emotional and otherwise) that some of your guests make to be a part of your beautiful union and events. It wouldn't hurt to be considerate of them during your planning process and appreciate the time, resources & effort taken to celebrate with you afterwards. They are not 'just guests'. Yes, you will still be married with or without them present but if you've gone through the hassle of renting a hall, decorating and all of that, you will definitely feel it badly if absolutely no one showed up to celebrate with you.
Check out & Enjoy my previous wedding related posts (From Planning Bridal Showers, Introduction Ceremonies, Wedding Essentials and more).

Toodles!XooX

My Surprise Bridal Shower {LATE POST}

Chocolate Cocktails (very yummy)

Hmmm...My surprise bridal shower was different shades of awesome, i'm truly blessed with the sweetest friends and i'm grateful to have them in my life.

You either throw yourself a bridal shower or your friends plan one for u; i have always been a part of the latter. I was kinda wary my friends would not be able to plan and execute a bridal shower for me 'cos i am always the planner and main player in all the surprise bridal showers we've held for our married friends. I've written about bridal showers and how best to plan them, as well as baby showers i have planned in the past and i know how they typically work, at least in Nigeria.

The typical surprise bridal shower starts with 2-3 close friends of the bride-to-be coming together some months before the wedding to decide on a date, venue, decor, activities and a budget for the shower as well as contacting the groom-to-be and letting him know their plans so he can help surprise the bride. After this they create a group usually on Whatsapp or BBM to invite other friends of the bride-to-be and update them on the plan so far, get more suggestions from them and inform them of the amount to be contributed per person and the account to pay into (of course na when e reach money matter people take off, act funny, etc. making money collection the most stressful/annoying part of the whole process).
I am always the one that kicks off this planning process and i know how stressful it can be (though i enjoy it) so u can imagine why i was nervous. Infact i thought i won't get to have a bridal shower! But ma gals came through for me *wide grin*

awon goons mi

My shower held on Sunday, 11th May 2014, the weekend before my wedding. Hubby-to-be was in charge of helping my different groups of friends link up, well the ones in Abuja anyway (my friends dnt all know each other. I have office friends, uni friends, etc.) and making sure i dressed up nice and arrived at the venue in time for my surprise. He did a good job.

My cake

Being the planning lover that i am, i asked Yoee to fill me in on the planning process and she told me how stressful and annoying it was (as i'd expected it'll be) but i enjoyed hearing every tidbit. There were those that contributed even though they could not make it to the shower(Mel who had just had her baby and Wyn who was in Lagos), i sent them thank you messages after the shower and pictures; those who argued on the agreed amount or paid late; those who went all out and made me gush. It was fun being the celebrant this time and hearing how the shower was put together. I even added an Excel sheet to my wedding budget of the whole planning process and those that contributed to making the shower a success. Don't mind me, i just like having this stuff documented so i can look back on it. Oya straight to the main shower gist.

Yoee told me they needed music for a get-together i think (can't really remember), so i needed to get my butt down dere with my laptop and playlist, she said she had discussed with hubby and he had agreed to bring me down. I guessed it might be my surprise bridal shower since that was the last day of the weekend before our wedding weekend. I sha dressed up and went with the flow, i randomly chose to wear a black and white gown and funny enough black was the color code for the shower. Hubby took me to Bolton White Apartments and as the door opened SURPRISE!!!! it was the sweetest thing, i was just grinning like a Cheshire cat, from ear to ear. They pulled me in and draped a bride-to-be sash over me and put a crown on my head. I really did feel special.

It held in a nice 2-bedroom apartment with a big living room, kitchen and balcony at our disposal, i loved the setup, decor and the cake(this is the EXACT cake i wanted, big ups to Yoee for catching my hints back then); It was so heart-warming seeing how much effort they put into everything. Yoee a.k.a Alcohol goddess brought the alcohol, Farida brought the small chops, pizza n soft drinks, Ejura brought cupcakes, Pauline was in charge of decor, Bola a.k.a Miss B was the MC and Joy was the Photographer/Videographer. I was the DJ still. lol.

enjoying my small chops

After hugging and thanking the gals, they finally got me seated on my 'throne', placed a tantalizing plate of small chops in my hands and things were set in motion by my able MC Miss B and her tiny voice. lol. The first game was 'How well do you know the bride-to-be?', everyone had a pen and paper and Miss B would ask them questions about me (my fave food, color, etc.) and they would write their answers down and the person with the highest no. of correct answers is the winner. This game was so funny 'cos they kept trying to ask me for expo or confirm if their answers were right while Miss B did her best to block my face so i wouldn't pay attention them. Chide won this game and the highlight was when Miss B read out some of the hilarious answers they had written, we all had a good laugh.

Yoee was having way too much fun torturing me

Next game was 'How well do you know your husband-to-be', i alone played this game, Miss B would ask me a question and i'd answer within 10 secs then she'd compare my answers to what Hubby-to-be had written for them. Yoee was on punishment duty, standing happily beside me as she was in charge of drowning me in alcohol for every question i answered wrong. This gehl eh!! she really wanted to drown me, even questions i answered correctly she'll say time was up and make me guzzle down *smh* luckily she only got to do that about 3 different times and that was how i discovered that i quite like Coffee Patron.

The process

Joy (on my left in the pic) won obviously. lol.

Next game was the 'Tissue wedding dress', the gals were divided into 2groups, they picked out their models and were asked to design an outfit on them using just tissue. It was too funny, i just sat down watching their 'creations' take form actually it was falling apart. I was to pick the winner and had to go with the model that managed to keep her tissue dress on. We all had a good laugh with this game.

The winning banana found a spot on the cake

Next game was 'Fastest fingers', the gals were all given bananas and a condom sachet, the fatest to get the condom on the banana properly is the winner. Oh my days, u had to be there!! i laughed so hard i fell off my seat when Miss B was inspecting the condom-wearing bananas. Ejura was the winner of this game. Some claimed their bananas needed a bigger condom (Magnum tins), some put it on backwards, some put a rip in it, some said the condom was to big for their bananas, some did not get it on all the way. It was too funny walahi!

Last game of the night 'Charades' had us rolling on the floor laughing while clutching our sides in pain with aching jaws. The gals were separated into 2 groups and each group would pick 1 person to be their representative; the representative would go to the opposing group and they would tell her a word or sentence to go describe to her group without using words and her group would try to guess it. Where do i even begin with how competitive and funny this game turned out to be, i even participated. Let's just say it involved trying to describe 'crocodile in the ocean', 'sex not in the beach' and 'igede dancers'. Try picturing how someone would describe the above to their group. It was crazy!

Hubby-to-be came around as we were rounding up so i cut the cake, took pics with him & d gals and he happily got a take-away pack of small chops and cake when leaving. The gals and i touched up, they cut cake to take away and we went to Sofa Lounge to karaoke and dance the night away. I honestly had way too much fun and laughter for one night. Ejura, Yoee and I finally went back to the apartment @past midnight, we cleaned up the messed up apartment a bit (we didn't have to but i have a bit of OCD) and put the leftovers in the fridge. I was given my lovely gifts and we crashed.

My gifts

Next morning, we put the apartment in order some more, warmed and ate our leftovers, looked through pics & vids and had a good laugh before checking out around midday. The shower was more than i could have ever expected and i'm grateful!

Toodles!XooX